FORTY ONE things about “Tashfia Mosharraf Mohona”

1. She is 5 ft 7 inch tall, a daamri to be precise

2. She is dumb in real life but uber smart in academics, a BUET engineer

3. She loves cheesecakes from platinum suites, specially before exam, the ones I bought for her after my night patrol

4. She has a friend called Niaz who happens to be a Jatio Bhai (national Brother)

5. The number of her crushes is equal to the number of trees in Amazon forest

6. No matter how hard she tries, I always find out when she has a new crush.

7. She has soft corner for both Sushanta Paul a.k.a the wolf and Prashanta Paul a.k.a Mohasagor

8. Like me, she loves KOKOR and hates BELAEs

9. Between a German Shepherd Dog and a Diamond neckless, she will choose the former.

10. However, she will force me to buy the neckless as well, even if I have to sell myself to slavery for that

11. She has a database of all my ex girlfriends and created a list of features that I like on girls by a comprehensive analysis.

12. Every time I flirt with a new girl on facebook, no matter how subtle it is, she always finds it out.

13. She has names for my female friends e.g Bathroomwali( as the girl wanted to visit the restroom after she came to our house), Cambridgewali ( the girl went to Cambridge) etc.

14. me being a cop has put a THE END to her love life even before it started ( feels soo bloody good! )

15. she likes snickers and Kitkat( I am the one buying it)

16. for jet black dogs, she has a name “mich-miche kaalo” that she used for my Dog, Kalapahar

17. the only thing she likes more than a German Shepherd is a Tiger Cub

18. A major fan of Christiano Ronaldo, although she gets pissed off when I remind her that they are all “Brad Pitt case”( siblings inside joke)

19. she once went to school with a weird civil dress that mom told her not to wear, got kicked off from the sports ground ,came back home to change it to school uniform, got jharifyed by mom again and MADE MY DAY.

20. she is a major fan of that pathetic vampire jerk Edward Cullen

21. in cricket, she was the only one to support Australia in 1999 world cup, leading them to win the final grin emoticon

22. I once Jharafyed her for using Multani Maati as face mask since Multan is in Pakistan.

23. She hates pouting pics but recently gave in to peer pressure. Now I see her in some of the half hearted duck face pics!

24. She befriends my female friends, e.g Sadia Mallik Kakon and Priota Farelin Iftekhar to spy on me.

25.The only reason we both used to go to BBQ TONITE is to see their GSD named Bobby. It broke both our hearts when we saw the empty cage , being informed that the dog is no more.

26. I let her use my Police car couple of times to go to BUET, which had a DEVASTATING effect on her potential love life.

27. The only reason she is studying in BUET is to “be worthy in marriage market” . Grrrrrrrr, so much for me being a progressive brother who SO NOT want this to be the reason!

28. In the name of pocket money she always cuts my pocket. This month her BORADDO is like 20000 yen for shopping in US

29. She makes the ahem… Wo…best pasta of the world. It is so good that I generally avoid coming home in the name of anti-terrorist raids if I know she made Pasta that day.

30. Her cheesecakes are usually good. Even if it is bad, she makes Dad to eat them with a SHONA MUKH!

31. Every time she has a crush on a BD guy, somehow the boy ends up being shorter than her.

32. When she is with me and suddenly there is a cute guy, she keeps oogling, only to find out that her head is turned to the opposite direction by a smooth, fast twist on head with my hands.

33. We had a tom and Jerry type relation when we were kids, and I once literally threw her in the space as she was disturbing me way too much every time I opened the TV to watch cricket, she would fight with me to watch cartoon, eventually inviting mom to intervene and switch off the TV.

34. She used to call me “Apni” till she was 18. Now, its “tui” or worse…

35. She got into BUET just with a 3 months study by dealing completely new Bangla medium syllabus, proving me wrong about the dumbness of English Medium.

36. She is a major fan of Dexter a.k.a Mike C Hull, and I arranged a meeting between her and him when he visited Bangladesh. I was planning to stop him in airport if needed.

37. I arranged a video wish for her from Shakib A Hasan and Tamim Iqbal when I was the team security officer of Bangladesh Cricket Team back in 2012.

38. We fight all the time with silly issues e.g who gets the bigger piece of prawn curry in the table or who is more loved by mom and dad (its me, of course) however, in times of need we watch each others back (for example, if I am late from a friend’s house, she always saves me from mom’s rage)

39. I do not mind her dating someone decent but there is one condition: if he breaks her heart, I will break his bones, one by one.

40. I am kind of uncomfortable to show my love or affection for her openly, however, I would burn in hell to keep her safe. If my sister asks for something from me, she gets it. Period.

41. I am SPECIALLY harsh to eve teasers and sexual offenders because when I see a victim , I remember her.

Its her Birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

First published: 11 January, 2015